“I got a job. I am so happy.”
“Marriage is on the cards. He lives in the US and he is fond of traveling. My life is set.”
“I keep a track of everything he does. I am possessive like that.”
More than men, it is women who find it hard to find themselves. When I think of girls in small Indian cities, they grow up dreaming of a wedding and the happily ever after. They are taught to find happiness in making their husband’s family happy. They live up to the expectations in most cases and that they think is happiness.
Don’t get me wrong. It’s not about choices but letting go your choices because of someone or something else. That could be boyfriend, husband, parents, children or a relocation.
I know of many women who loved doing so many unique things at some point in time but never pursued any. Either time came in between or responsibilities. Then they never pursued anything. Their life revolved around managing their home or being a working home maker.
Men or women need to find that one thing that gives them the purpose in life. Something that defines them. It could be community work, baking, cycling, running, painting, writing or counselling. One thing. Where you earn your daily bread from is just a part of your life not your purpose. So stop thinking that a marriage, a job or having children is the end of the chase. Start believing that there is something more important to your existence. And that my friend, will help you find yourself.
I am participating in the A To Z Challenge for the third time this year and I am penning Stories from everyday life.
happiness and food 
Well said. I am still trying to discover my purpose in life, but I think we all should-man or woman.
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When I read that many people you know gave up things they loved because of time or responsibilities, it scares me a little. Hope I won’t reach a point where I have to do that.
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This is so true Parul. So often couples drift apart because one gets too clingy while other sets out to spread their wings. Even in friendships, too much dependency on a friend will push that person away. Clinginess also brings in resentment.
Flower power
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For some women, like my mom, her family has been her purpose right through 🙂 She’s never compromised on her happiness either. Marriage and kids aren’t necessarily the end goal for women but I know women who are perfectly content being where they are and not out of resignation either. We must of course, find what makes us happy, and if that happens to be a marriage or kids or both or neither, that’s wonderful.
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True that, not mamy of us make choices but are often thrust into choices. In the process ofcourse we fail to find ourselves, find that inner calling. BUt well whats the meaning of life, if we cant find our innerself.
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Very true Parul. Everyone should find their purpose of life irrespective of responsibilities in life that they cannot walk away from. Sadly, some people don’t understand this concept at all.
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I completely agree.Life should and does have a purpose.Once bread and butter is taken care of one must find that purpose which makes one’s own life meaningful.Balance and meaning ,both are necessary.Few understand this.Great post
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Very nicely, you have penned down the concept of freedom. I also believe that freedom is the only way to discover our true self from all our illusory relationship.
-Sayanti from http://sayantideb.com/atozchallenge-forgiveness/
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I agree with you, Parul, that one should not lose herself or himself in the monotonicity of life. Creativity helps us to find ourselves. I always try to influence my friends (especially, the girls) to use their creativity and not to lose their talent, completely in bearing family . Enjoyed your post.
-Sayanti from http://sayantideb.com/atozchallenge-forgiveness/
Sorry, Parul, I have mistakenly, posted the above comment on your post. I couldn’t able to delete that. please delete that as it is irrelevant to the post.
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This is exactly my philosophy too. One should always maintain their individuality. Marriage, kids and profession is just one part of your life. Your own identity should have so much more to it than only these priorities. Loved your choice of topic today.
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Too often we give our power away to others and find we defne ourselves the way others define us Very nicely said Parul, we need to own and define ourselves our own way.
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Agreed. Finding meaning in others happiness may satiate you for a while but the inner void goes on increasing and you die unnoticed in the most intellectual form of life given by God.
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This is so very true! So many women lose themselves in marriage and home and responsibilities, taking no time for themselves, their desires, their hobbies, their passion. It’s important, not selfish like so many wrongly believe, to spend some time devoted to the things that make you happy!
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I agree. That will help you find yourself and that will help you live. Nice thoughts there
jaishwrites – F for??? (flashfiction)
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When will I know, why do I exist?! I think this so many times in my head and still get no answer! But the hunt is on!
Cheers
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More than men, it is women who find it hard to find themselves. – You said it sistah!
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I loved this line “Where you earn your daily bread from is just a part of your life not your purpose”!
Taking a step back and figuring out what that purpose should be takes a lot of effort and courage. It involves standing up to people you respect, and making decisions that will put you directly out of your comfort zone. But once it’s done, the benefits are enormous!
Wonderful way of phrasing this thought, Parul !
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Finding ourselves is very important. We need to fulfill the purpose for which we have been sent here.
Sacrificing what we love,makes us distant from who we are…
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Well said. I firmly believe that the only way to truly give back to the world and share your inner light is to first find what makes you come alive! Then you have to share that spark with the world. We can’t share the flame of a candle that has never been lit!
My theme this year is how self-development and overcoming our own insecurities can make us better creators (geared toward writers, but is true of any creative endeavor!) F is for Failure
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It’s sad how for so many women across the globe, marriage is seen as the be all and end all of everything. The number of things women have to sacrifice (it’s never compromise) for others is ridiculous! Great post!
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And this is common everywhere. In all parts of the world, women at some point tend to forget themselves … getting lost in the thousand of chores. We all need to remember what keeps us alive… what we truly love.
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It echoes a deeper cultural belief which you’ve put so well, Parul. One shouldn’t abandon themselves after this so-called settling up in life. Go and kiss the world without letting anyone judge.
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