H for Honor Killing

39 Responses

  1. Vinitha says:

    As a start we should stop categorising marriages as love marriage and arranged marriage. When love becomes the sole reason for marriage, there won’t be any more need to follow old traditions which when not followed is resulting as a step down to pride and honour today. The other day my mom was saying that my aunt is not talking to her friend anymore because her friend wasn’t pleased when she learned that mine was a love marriage but my aunt told her that instead she told that my husband liked me and send his parents to ask my hand. Though those events happened , it happened only at a later stage of our love. I realized that my relatives stay away from killing but marrying because of love is something to hush! How pity!

    • Gosh! It’s a pity! Those are some shocking realities of the culture and the traditions we are bound too! My marriage with my husband was after we met and asked our parents to intervene. We come from different castes and states that differ in terms of dressing and even found habits. At some point in time, parents on both the sides weren’t too happy but they wanted what we wanted. That approach helped. Today, every one is happy with the choice we made. Sometimes, I feel parents should just let their children free. Once the kids grow up, it’s their life to lead and decide.

  2. Georgia says:

    I found your blog based on comments you made on a friend’s, Brits in the US, and am enjoying your posts. Women seem to be conditioned to judge themselves and it can be a hard habit to break. Once you learn to love yourself for who you are, the love you show to others opens wide to embrace people fro who they are. And you find that embracing diversity enhances your life. Thanks for sharing!

  3. Once again, honour killings are a mark of a patriarchal society. Why is it only the woman’s honour and why is only a woman who dishonours the family??? It gets me so angry! Great post as always Parul. I’m glad you went with this topic for H. 🙂

  4. shanx says:

    A brutal reality, stupidity and stature, whatever that really means, It’s plain ridiculous and people need to understand that 🙁 Sigh! It’s sad that importance of life is so trivial when compared to certain beliefs be it killing or turning one’s own life into living hell!.
    A lil common sense is all is needed! Another powerful post Parul!

  5. kimberlygauthier says:

    I had no idea about the list of “offenses” that could lead to an Honor Killing. It’s really shocking.

  6. Eli says:

    H for heartbreaking and horrible – but still so important. What a tragedy when a girl’s life is less worth than the feeling of honor and pride. Its sad. Hats off to you shedding some light on this…

    • Eli – these young couple when decide to marry against parents wish, they dream to start a new life together away from their conservative people. But then, on the pretext of being forgiven, they are called upon or asked to reveal their location and then killed. To me, that’s murder.

  7. Tarkabarka says:

    One of the hard issues: It probably requires a whole-scale overhaul of mindsets, traditions, and world views…

    @TarkabarkaHolgy from
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  8. Shilpa Garg says:

    Honour killing is plainly murder and nothing else. It is sad that we dont have strict laws to punish the murderers who are actually family members of the victims!

  9. Vineeta Srivastava says:

    I don’t call such parents as real loving parents . They are selfish , narrow minded cruel . In fact they don’t love and care to their children they only love their cast , religion and so called community . Your issues are really thought provoking . keep it up . God bless u

  10. Ok I really didn’t know that honor killings weren’t a punishable crime in the IPC until now. That is so wrong. The last honor killing I was appalled at was when an Indian defense lawyer made open statements about killing his daughter – if she chose to roam about in the late hours of the night. Also your statement of how some families do not regard love after marriage important made me laugh ! Great post as always. 🙂

    • Have you seen the documentary India’s Daughter? That lawyer was ready to burn his daughter alive if she indulges in premarital sex..It’s a form of announced honor killing..

  11. Tragic reality in many parts of India and one that horrifies me. I don’t buy newspapers primarily because I prefer to start my day on a positive note but news like this pops up everywhere. I just wish stricter laws were in place for these things 🙁

  12. Rajlakshmi says:

    As I read your post, I was reminded of my friends who are fighting to get married, so much pleading and emotional blackmail. Sometimes I don’t even understand how parents can be so cruel to their own flesh and blood.

    • Yes Rajlakshmi, a lot of my friends too lost that battle and are now compromising by being single. Your question is right, how can parents of all people be so cruel.

  13. shwetadave09 says:

    Inflated egos, pride and again made made rule of culture and values, its a shame in India and a very painful truth. Love teaches to live, forgive and for love lives are lost….a very painful and touching topic.

  14. It is amazing such a crime occurs in this day and age. How can they say this is not akin to murder? It is murder! Unbelievable! 🙁

  15. G Angela says:

    It is sad that people place honour and pride above human beings…. agree a stringent law is required to put an end to this concept of killing..

  16. swathishenoy says:

    So many absurdities arise due to the name of this honor which people have really misunderstood! How is it honor killing another life? Aren’t they supposed to feel shame by doing such things? I absolutely loved your concluding paragraph. Yes, that is what brings shame to family and for humanity! Great post Parul.

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  17. How could one kill one’s own kith and kin or for that matter how could anyone kill someone else? Is caste, pride, custom important than somebody’s life? I cannot understand how could people be so inhumane. I liked the last lines on what brings shame to family.

    • Try listening to how these men/elders talk. They are very rigid on what brings shame to the family and marrying without consent or loving someone out of caste is a crime in their eyes.

  18. Shalzzz says:

    Gosh, Parul! That pic is haunting! And its a brutal reality though I do not understand the whys and hows. You have brought out the essence of the topic well. Great choice on H!

    • Yes Shalini, it’s not a very pleasing pic but it does convey the message. I wish there were stricter laws. That would atleast deter some! Thank you for stopping by!!

  19. shanayatales says:

    Honor Killing is grave reality. I agree that it needs stronger laws. Like you say, honor is a relative concept and very arbitrarily imposed on families of those who want to uphold their own judgement even at the cost of humanity. Good choice for H, Parul. Keep writing. 🙂

  1. April 15, 2015

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  3. June 29, 2016

    […] examples of failed marriage or abusive partners. I just want you to imagine a free India, the one that doesn’t kill her daughter for marrying some one out of the community or the one who doesn’t judge a woman if she chooses to stay single. And even if she decides […]

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