K for Kind mother or unkind MIL #AtoZChallenge

Be kind - it's not that hard

Be kind – it’s not that hard

Mala and Srilata were having a good time that afternoon. They had met each other after many years so they were eager to share stories from their world.

Srilata was now in a listening mood and she knew that Mala was also not getting late. After all, her son and daughter were settled in other cities and were happy with their married lives.

Mala was also eager to share how her son married a girl from his college she did not approve of yet has now come to terms with the fact that her daughter-in-law is an ambitious working woman.

She said,

“You know Srilata, my son has been a bit unlucky. He had a hard time finding a job in the times of recession. The company that made a pre-placement offer pulled back at the last-minute and it was such a disaster for the whole batch. I have not been against his marriage but he should have at least sought permission before committing to this girl. As parents, he owes that to us. Anyways all that for another day.

Can you imagine Richa, my daughter-in-law is such a lazy woman? She never takes care of the household, expects Rishabh to get food on his way back from work and on weekends, sleeps till late mornings to again head to a restaurant for breakfast. Sometimes, Rishabh ends up making breakfast if he is up early. I know she is a working woman but she could have managed her life better. She makes Rishabh cut vegetables and poor boy, he even ends up cooking when madam is late from work. My son, Rishabh does what she wants without complaining. I was a witness to all this when I visited them last summer.”

Srilata nodded though she did not see as many faults as Mala did. Afterall, Richa was a successful woman and delegating chores to others who can manage well is not a big deal. Husband and wife are together in managing a household and making it a home.

Mala went on to add,

“Not everyone is as lucky as my daughter, Supriti. Her husband just dotes on her. When she comes back from work, he ensures that there is food. They lead a comfortable life and on Sundays, Supriti has no rush to get going. Vivek sometimes serves her breakfast in the bed. Can you believe that? How much he loves her. 

Not just that, weekends they watch movies and shop groceries, cut vegetables together and store them so that Vivek can cook if he comes early from work. He keeps her so happy that she manages both work and home so well. I was a witness to all this when I visited them last fall.”

For Srilata, this was the end of their conversation. She had already shut off. She was seeing a different face of the kind and broad-minded person Mala used to be. Srilata knew this is why most MILs and DILs never have a good rapport. Being kind doesn’t come easily to many people.


I am participating in the A To Z Challenge for the third time this year and I am penning Stories from everyday life.

22 Responses

  1. divsi says:

    Haha. Lovely read. Touches upon hypocrisy in such a wonderful way. Daughters deserve doting husbands but sons cannot afford to dote over their wives 😀
    divsi recently posted…Kochi Diaries: Stories from the StreetsMy Profile

  2. vineeta says:

    V good topic as well as v. controversial. Things are changing but not much .
    Good and bad DILs and MILs were previously also and will remain also but depends how both of them including husband handle the situation.
    After 25 yrs when a DIL meets her MIL how can u expect that a natural flow of love will be between them like mother and daughter.
    It takes not less than 10 to 15 yrs .
    It grows gradually.

  3. I don’t know why women can’t treat their daughters in law well – don’t they remember the time they were newly married too?

  4. Hahahaha, I am living this ! I love how beautifully you showed us 2 different sides of the same person :))
    Mayuri Nidigallu recently posted…L is for… #AtoZChallengeMy Profile

  5. Ramya says:

    Ha ha Parul. You explained the reality in a brief post. Well done. The difference is pretty clear but i wish every women understands that.

  6. This is so true, I just hope I dont become such an MIL, I dont have a daughter so I woudnt have anyone to compare with, yet there is still a precarious bird telling me always to see future carefully
    Menaka Bharathi recently posted…The First 1000 Days-Crucial to Child DevelopmentMy Profile

  7. Ramya Rao says:

    I love this. Best thing I read today.

  8. Soumya says:

    You said it! Being kind is no longer a common trait. Sadly, some MILs think that being kind to their DIL is like cheating on the relationship.
    Soumya recently posted…K: Khaled Hosseini #AToZChallengeMy Profile

  9. Bellybytes says:

    No No Payal. I’m surprised you subscribe to these stereotypes….

  10. Namratha says:

    The mind seems to perceive sons, daughters and daughter-in-law such different ways! If a daughter does work, they feel bad for them. If a daughter-in-law does the same thing, it is their duty! You’ve brought out the difference quite plainly.

    Celebrating ‘Women & their work’ all April @NamySaysSo K for Kitchen Queen

  11. So true, I think this happens all over the world. The daughter-in-law is seldom given the place & understanding that a daughter enjoys. But, I hope things will gradually change when these very daughters-in-law become mothers-in-law themselves.

  12. Shilpa Garg says:

    Ah! The different sets of standards for daughters and daughter-in-laws. This is so commonly seen all around us!!

  13. Shalini says:

    What a nice way of looking into the same situation, but in differetn angles. I am glad you talked about it. It happens everywhere, not just in India.
    Shalini recently posted…Krabi, ThailandMy Profile

  14. Sreesha says:

    I hope my family never sees this comment, because I have witnessed this exact conversation between a family friend and my parents. Except that they were complaining about how their daughter in law never brought in any dowry, and they were boasting about how they never had to give their daughter any. 21st century and people complain about dowry!
    Sreesha recently posted…Kashmir | #AtoZChallengeMy Profile

  15. Geets says:

    Haha!! I saw this one coming! Story of our Indian society I feel!

    Cheers

  16. Ha ha ha!! Very well put Parul! I cant fathom why these women dont realise that their DIL is also someones daughter!!
    Theme: Peregrination Chronicles (travel)
    K is for Kathakali in Kerala #atozchallenge

  17. Sadly this actually happens! With no sense of the irony at all, people say the exact same thing with different tones based on who they are referring to.
    Roshan Radhakrishnan recently posted…Kylee McGrane and Maggie McAndrew are real life Princesses of Compassion #AtoZChallengeMy Profile

  18. Natasha says:

    So true! An apt. Thank you for a lovely story reflective of the realities.

    Blog: natashamusing
    Theme: Travel Epiphanies
    Kitschy-Trip-to-Kasauli
    Natasha recently posted…{K} is for Kitschy Trip to Kasauli : #AtoZChallengeMy Profile

  19. Rajlakshmi says:

    I absolutely loved how you have displayed the partiality that most MILs show towards DILs .. Very few DILs get treated like a daughter and because of this bitter truth girls prefer nuclear setup.
    Rajlakshmi recently posted…Yogasana: I flew, well almost #atozchallengeMy Profile

  20. Denise says:

    I had a wonderful MIL. Made up for having a nasty mother. My DIL is a wonderful girl. She lost her mother when she was 16.

  21. Uma Nigith says:

    Hmmm…you know most of your posts for this challenge make me not want to hit the like button. Just because I don’t like the reality that it shows. It is so true and these are scenes we see around us all the time. My mom makes so much effort so that my SIL feels comfortable even at the expense of us daughters 😜. But I am really happy that they share such a good rapport and that extends to the peace of the whole family.

  22. I remember seeing something like this elsewhere…it has always struck me as weird how mothers treat daughters-in-law poorly but expect daughters to be treated well…I’ve seen real life examples.
    Sanch | Sanch Writes recently posted…#Kyrielle: Home #atozchallengeMy Profile

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