On living and dying
Varied thoughts about living and dying have always crossed my mind. Though death is inevitable and unpredictable, loss of life of loved ones is something that can keep me up at night.
I am grateful to the life I have got and that’s why I am scared of dying. I don’t want to let go what I have. The love of family and friends, the sense of accomplishment at work, the trees around me, the blue sky and the floating clouds, flowers and the sunsets. Too many things that bring joy and one life to soak it all in.
How is that even possible?
Sometimes I feel that I have just as much time left as I have lived and then my mind wanders to how it will be leaving this world? Will the thought worry me at that time or will I not even know that the time has come? What will happen next? The thought of being all alone after death scares me. It scares me that there would be nothing familiar.
Questions that I have no answer to.
Is everything really as transient as we say? Will I be able to accept that my time has come? Is it so easy to forget who we were and where we came from? What will happen to the voice within me that guides me, makes me think, consoles and encourages me? Will that die too?
Will I be able to let go?
If I think rationally, I know all the answers. It’s the feeling that scares me. The thought that makes me shudder. However, I also know that is the reason, today is important. It’s the beauty that we see every day that matters. Tomorrow may come or not, but today should be special. That’s why I stay grateful for the things around. I find joy in mundane things and jump with joy on little accomplishments. I am scared of dying but I am not scared of living.
Writing for FridayReflections today after a long time and I have written on two prompts – I’m most grateful for… and What scares you most about dying.