happiness and food

This Saturday afternoon, I was reading Readers’ Digest when these lines from an article lit something in my heart and brain. Not the exact words, but they were something like,

“You don’t own your children. They do not belong to you.They have just been entrusted on to you by life so that you could bring them up. When the time comes, you should give them back to life so that they learn to think on their own and lead a life that truly belongs to them”. 

Parents bring up children and inculcate values that they themselves believe in or may be could have learnt from what their parents taught them. They try their best to share their own experiences and create a set of rules that sometimes take the name of tradition, culture, and ethics. With these set of rules and convictions of the family entrusted upon a child, children grow up thinking things like everyone gets married, every one has a baby, marriage is between people of same gender, sex before marriage is a sin, live-in is a western concepts etc. etc. So, ideally, pre-marital sex is something that a child would not know at all. They just hear their parents talk how bad it is, what it reflects on character without even understanding what it means in the first place.

Thinking of the parents, talking about pre-marital sex is not an easy task. How to use the right words, what to convey and what to leave behind becomes a bigger challenge than the topic itself. So a blanket statement is a simple way out. The daughter is told, “We trust you with everything and you should not bring shame to the family”. She has no clue on what that means. She wonders if she can choose a guy of her choice or not. In some cases, she even wonders if she is allowed to talk to men. And in a lot of cases, the girl thinks, enough of this, I will do what I want to. It’s my life. Some grow up thinking that it’s okay to fall in love and express feelings. Then approach parents and get them to arrange this marriage with the guy she loves.

If by way of emotions, willingness, choice or chance, there is any pre-marital sex involved in a relationship, then it brings those dark clouds of guilt, the breach of trust, what will people say if they get to know and what not. Instead of trusting and making love, the girl feels tons of different sort of emotions. Sometimes unfortunately, due to the inability to judge her partner, she ends up getting cheated as well.

Personally, I do not get what is wrong in sleeping with the person you love before marriage and to add to it, these two people are adults and are expected to know who is right for them. Sex, like any other thing is a need of the body and if two adults want to explore this option, why not and what’s not right? By the same logic that parents don’t own children, I think it would be better if parents help grown-up children understand what is unprotected sex, the medical problems related to sex with multiple partners like STDs and HIV, unwanted pregnancies, and of course the upsurge of emotional attachment that comes with sex.

As an adult, it should be a person’s choice to vote, drive, make their career in the field they want to, choose a partner, and have sex if they want! Why say, “Sorry, I’m not married yet!”

These are my views and I do not intend to offend anyone. Your thoughts are yours like mine are mine. This post is a response to the prompt on IndiBlogger – Yes or No to Pre-Marital Sex and you could order Poonaam Uppal’s True Love – A Mystical True Love Story on Flipkart.

It’s December and this is Post #5. I am feeling great after taking up NaBloPoMo (read all November posts here) last month and I look forward to challenging myself further. Your comments, feedback, likes and share make me feel you want to read more. Thank you readers!