I for I, me, myself

Posted on by Parul Thakur
Quote by Oscar Wilde
Quote by Oscar Wilde

That title looks a little strong, right? I know what you are thinking but trust me, I am not asking you to be self-centered. I am asking you women to think about your self and be aware of what you want. Do you remember the last time you did something that interests you? Do you remember the last time you went out with your loved one to spend some time that was exclusive to you both? Do you remember the last time you did not worry about who will do the dishes or who will cook meals if your help calls in sick?

Women around me are always busy, always thinking of every big and little thing except about themselves. They are okay to miss their own breakfast but don’t forget to pack their husbands’, they skip their morning walk but don’t forget to wake the rest of the family up. They are kind enough to give the help a day off but unkind to themselves by taking all the efforts to make that dead house free of dust. A house is a home cos of people who live in it and that speck of dust won’t kill you. They don’t delegate or ask for help but keep doing things till they crash. They multitask so much that what’s really important gets lost some where in between. And I ask why?

Here’s what I strongly believe – If I am not happy with my current state, I won’t be able to keep my loved ones happy. I will remain annoyed and cranky, I will have a hard time understanding others in my life. If I am not healthy, how will I take care of those who I love. If I am not working towards my career goals, how will I encourage others to do so. I believe, it all begins with YOU.

The flight safety instructions also recommend that a mother should wear her mask first and then help her child. So, stop being sacrificing to that last morsel on the plate, keep yourself fit, think of your career and your personal goals, your purpose in life and do what keeps you alive as a person and strive to find joy in yourself. Yes, your family needs you but not more than you need yourself.

I am blogging from A to Z during April (#427 on the list) and the theme I have chosen is set on women. Some of the posts will be here for you to know and some will be to reflect and accept. Share your thoughts and let me know how things are going. There is always a room for improvement. 

61 thoughts on “I for I, me, myself”

  1. Parul what a lovely read. We do all this selflessly and a little appreciation here and a big hug there would motivate and boost our energy , isn’t it? Good night dear. Keep writing such beauties.

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  5. Exactly what I tell my mom and sister. They are so used to doing stuff for others, completely neglecting themselves. My motto is to Keep myself fit, the family will follow too. Good read.

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  7. Super! This was a thought-provoking read. Putting ourselves first… It really isn’t a bad thing. If we are happy, rested and content ourselves, only then we can do justice when we look out for others.

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  8. Indeed, you need yourself first and individuality matters a lot first. Your children will live in their abode someday in quest of success, what about YOU. Agree! The I matters and it’s not selfish:)

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  9. Parul, very well-observed. Everytime in flight, I also think about this – “The flight safety instructions also recommend that a mother should wear her mask first and then help her child.” It only means that self comes first and that “Self- help” is the best help. For generations on, I have heard my grand-grand mothers, grand-mothers, aunties and my mom complain about how much they have sacrificed and done for the family. They will always say- “Oh I sacrificed my job for you” ..or maybe some hobby.. but then I think, who is to blame for that? They should have managed their time instead… Because in the end, its they who are repenting and not the children, or the husband.. or the family for that matter. As you rightly pointed out, this makes them grump and dis-satisfied, which makes them let out the frustration on the near & dear ones; result of which- no one is happy! Thanks for putting a thought to this.

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    1. You have summed it beautifully. I was talking to my MIL last night and she said – except her exercise, all work done for the day. So, I told her you missed what was really important. It’s you who had the knee surgery and you need to keep it moving – no one else can do that for you!

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  14. True and well said . Hardly women take care of themselves . Then as a result at the last verge of their life they become sick rather bed ridden .Now onwards I will also take care of myself and take my breakfast properly .

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  15. I think everyone needs to take time for themselves, give themselves a breather. Because if you are fit and fine only then you can be there for others. Early last year I took a professional break after working for 8 years and, believe ,me, this break has been the period of my life 🙂

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  18. It’s something I tell a lot of parents I see — that they need to look after themselves first before they can help their kids with their mental health problems. As women, I think we are trained to be self-sacrificing and we are praised as children when we give things up for others. But in the end, without being narcissistic, it’s completely ok for us to want something too.

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  20. Your post really hits home! Just recently retired from teaching for 33 years, I have been able to make time for myself. We’ve been told as educators to take care of ourselves first, family, and school – so hard when school becomes all encompassing – I could never quite find a balance. Wonderful post – hoping many more folks visit, read, and take it to heart!

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  23. Well said. For women, their family and home is number one on priority. They selflessly dedicate themselves to the needs or wants of others, which is often at the cost of totally neglecting themselves. True, it’s time they focused on themselves, their fitness and health too. After all, like it is said in our ancient books, ‘pehla sukh nirogi kaya’… without it nothing is possible.

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  28. A lovely post and so true Parul! Your every post is simple, thought provoking and hits home every time. That’s exactly what many miss and easier said than done. At times one has so much on the plate, they just can’t do it even consciously knowing that they have to…. and here’s to all the people who have women in their life they love.. be it mom, sis, wifey, or anybody.. just make a lil effort to make them happy.. not big.. a sweet surprise of what they like.. an unexpected off from all the work… it will rejuvenate them and they will be all agog again! 🙂 Keep Writing!

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  31. Well-written, Parul ! My mom is the perfect example of this. She gives, gives and gives until she crashes and stresses over the fact that her life isn’t interesting any more. I too ask – Why? Live your life too. That’s as important as it is for the others. The others are equally required to support you as you have supported them in their struggles. 🙂

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