What was she wearing today?
She is clever, knows how to get things done. I’m not like her.
What’s with her? No kids, no husband, a relaxed life and can party any time she wants. She is not like us with so many responsibilities.
Do these sentences remind you of something? Most women talk about other women as if they are already at loggerheads. They judge and they form opinions based on their perceptions but not on their experiences. How many times have you seen one women encouraging the other? How many times have you experienced being bullied by another woman? How many times have you noticed that you don’t know anything about the woman who sits right next to you? The answer to these questions is leading to just one thing – women are hard to please and more so if the person in question is another woman.
Getting into reasons is not the point today but I do know that if women support women we can achieve anything. When we judge someone else, we create a negative perception. This negative perception flows from one person to the other and most of the times, it even it’s true. The result, you lose a chance to know and learn from another woman and miss out a chance to have someone else watch your back. Women need other women and it is possible only if we stay positive and non-judgmental towards those we meet. Of course, we cannot like or be friends with each and every other person but what’s the harm in making your own circle of people where each would appreciate and encourage the other. To, me that sounds like a plan!
As a woman, I make a conscious effort to not judge another woman. Whether I like her or not, I will not be biased towards any of her preferences. If not much, this is something that will help me be a better human being and I would love you to try that too.
I am blogging from A to Z during April (#425 on the list) and the theme I have chosen is set on women. Some of the posts will be here for you to know and some will be to reflect and accept. Share your thoughts and let me know how things are going. There is always a room for improvement.
I read an article once (long ago, don’t remember who wrote it or where I saw it) basically saying that the reason we have industries dedicated to making women paranoid about their looks is because if we didn’t have shame and judgement to focus on, we’d be a force that would change the world. I actually think they’re not that far off.
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Wow! Now that’s some neat analysis..
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If only more people would follow your advise… Don’t judge! It would make everybody’s life much happier. All the energy that get used in judging or thinking about being judged could bemused for much better things! Thanks for this beautiful blog!
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Thank you so much for stopping by!
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Like my dear friend Saadia Haq at the Human Lens says, women are the enemies of women. She is right!
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In most plain terms – there are..
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Amen!
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I reckon in general, women are judged. By men, by other women, by society in general. And you’re damned if you, damned if you don’t. One way of overthrowing the patriarchy is by supporting each other and not judging. Imagine what the world would be like without any judgements??
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True that! Let’s support each other.
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Good post! Though I am not sure that only women are judgemental. Nothing to do with gender. We all are. Need to be aware and uproot this evil 🙂
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You are right! But we also hear, women are their worst enemies? Aren’t they?
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It seems that women are envious of other women due to competitiveness and thus may react accordingly. 😉 ❤
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Women are more competitive than men and I have experienced that!
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The second post I read on J for judgement. Something I detest most is judgmental people, I have never been into this gossiping lady-things, talking behind others backs. Hate it, its so mean. – so hallelujah- I couldnt agree more to your words!!
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Yes Eli, it isn’t fair at all..
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I agree wholeheartedly. You never know someone’s circumstances. I try to turn off my “judging eye” as I realize it mostly happens when I’m dissatisfied with myself, and trying to look for flaws in others so I don’t feel so self-ostracized from my expectations. But… it is very hard to do!
Alex Hurst, A Fantasy Author in Kyoto
A-Z Blogging in April Participant
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Sometimes it does..
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I’m with Sundari, the human race in general is judgemental, nothing to do with gender. I have some awesome girlfriends and they rock. A lot of my colleagues at work are women and they rock too.
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So great to know! Even where I work, there are more women than men and we get along pretty well..Thanks for stopping by Suzy!
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I can totally connect. It saddens me when I realize that often it is a woman pulling down another.
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And it does happen..Thanks Prajakta for stopping by!
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I can never understand why most women are judgmental. of course there are men too like this but women are quick to put down other women. I make a conscious effort to not judge people. If someone doesn’t want to marry, or they don’t want a child after marriage, or a woman wants to sit at home after marriage, or some woman wants to leave her child in daycare and join work, some don’t like cooking and prefer eating outside-it’s none of my business. Everyone here is trying to survive, fighting their own battles and the least we can do is not judge, not criticize. Just let them be. Loved this post 🙂
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I couldn’t agree more with you Prasanna! Every one is fighting their own battle and who are we to judge them. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts!
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I totally agree. It’s so harsh when one woman judge’s another. Fortunately I work with some of the very sensitive and matured women, each being understanding of other’s situation.
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That’s a great environment to work..
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if everyone just put an effort to not judge…
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True. It is so easy to be judgmental when we have just had a glimpse of the cover and not read the book in entirety.
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Well said 🙂
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I found your blog based on comments you made on a friend’s, Brits in the US, and am enjoying your posts. Women seem to be conditioned to judge themselves and it can be a hard habit to break. Once you learn to love yourself for who you are, the love you show to others opens wide to embrace people fro who they are. And you find that embracing diversity enhances your life. Thanks for sharing!
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Hi Georgia – I’m glad you chose to drop by. Welcome to happiness and food! You are right! It’s a hard habit to break but imagine the good it can do if we break it!
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Judging is a habit that is kind of ingrained!! But I am making a concious effort to change it. It can help change our life in many ways 🙂
Just Listen
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Me too Swathi 🙂
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The last para 🙂 (y) Another good post Parul 🙂
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Thank you 🙂
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Great post. Thank you for sharing.
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I’m glad you liked it! Thank you 🙂
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strange how we think alike! I too wrote a post on J for Judgemental and then after linking it came across yours.
http://www.sunitarajwade.com/2015/04/j-is-for-judgemental.html
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Such a sensible post Parul. Over the years I have learnt to be less and less judgmental. Yet it is such a subconscious thing that we start to create impressions about people based on what they wear or how they talk or how they behave. Often it our own complexes and backgrounds that shape the impression. However if we become conscious of it we can catch ourselves out. It’s rather hard though.
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You are right Tulika but we should not give up before trying. Right? Thank you and I appreciate that you stopped by 🙂
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Oh I agree, women certainly judge other women easily and harshly. Not that men are totally non judgmental beings. Just that women are more prone to it or maybe they voice out their opinion more, who knows? 😛
*Shantala @ ShanayaTales*
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Most of the times we are just too fast in judging people and too slow in thinking about them. I liked the way you have brought out the topic here. Great to connect through A-Z 🙂
http://drsushreedash.blogspot.in/
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I agree with you! Thank you so much for stopping by! I appreciate it 🙂
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It’s very easy to judge people without getting into their shoes and it speaks of lots of free time at hand. Trust me, Men are not faraway from their male counterparts.
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You are so right! Free time and free advice is all we have 😉
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Women are judged harshly whether by other women, men or by even themselves.
Your post describes this really well.
Men may be judged too, just for different things altogether and perhaps not as harshly.
Really good one Parul. Enjoyed reading it.:) and all the comments.
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Thanks a bunch! Glad you enjoyed this one 🙂
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Very wise words 🙂 And a good reminder to not be quick with judgment, especially towards women who are already getting judged too much and too harshly.
@TarkabarkaHolgy from
Multicolored Diary – Epics from A to Z
MopDog – 26 Ways to Die in Medieval Hungary
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Absolutely! Thanks a bunch!!
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Nice post..good read on monday morning 🙂 Being judgemental is something that needs to be avoided by women, and men too. We need to come out of our prejudices and stop judging others. We can never understand the situation of anyone else, from our standpoint.
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Thanks Kaushik! Well said!
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Right on, Parul. We are quick to judge others, and for what I don’t know. It is hard to change the judging habit but I’m trying not to judge others.
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One step at a time, and it will be possible. Thanks Vinitha 🙂
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This I can say that I practise often- the non judgment. Made my life far better and simpler, for sure. Good to know you’re the same 🙂
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I’m making a lot of conscious effort on that front each day 🙂 All for simpler life!
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It is so true that women are often harsh in judging other women. A working woman judges a home maker, a homemaker comments on the over- ambitiousness of a working woman….examples galore. When we judge someone, we are being less tolerant and inclusive. A thoughtprovoking post
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Well said, we are being less tolerant by judging. Thank you for stopping by and glad you felt that the post tickled in some way 🙂
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Passing judgements is a common trait in all of us. What we need to realize is that how hard it is to be judged and how selfish it looks to judge someone without knowing the entire story. Women face the most brunt of it because one judgement links to another to another until it reaches the character of the said person. This is wrong and something we all need to consciously work upon. Thanks for sharing !
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True that – a conscious effort is the best way to begin. Thank you EM!
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