R for Rapist

Posted on by Parul Thakur
Picture Credits : Public health festival, ‘Alley Galli Biennale’ held at Dharavi in Mumbai - From Left, "Lock the rapist, not the woman; Stop Rape, Don't touch me, "
Picture Credits : Public health festival, ‘Alley Galli Biennale’ held at Dharavi in Mumbai – From Left, “Lock the rapist, not the woman; Not an animal but a human being; Stop Rape; Don’t touch me, “. All these women are residents of Dharavi and this is a work of craft. Read more here.

No woman ever invites a rape and it’s never her fault. It is the man who cannot control his sexual urges and forces himself on a woman. Rape is such a heinous crime that it scars the soul of a woman and I don’t even have any words to describe what she goes through mentally and physically. Yet, it’s women who lead a life of shame. The words used for survivors, the attacks to malign their upbringing or demeanor, the post trauma gets too much to handle.

“My name is Suzette Jordan and I don’t want to be known any longer as the victim of Calcutta’s Park Street rape,” – As told to Rupa Jha in June 2013

Suzette was tired of leading a life of shame and why she should have led a life like that? What happened to her was not her fault. But she had to move houses, avoid people and live a life of fear till the time she was alive.

“Society makes you feel cheap. I chose not to feel like a victim. I am not a victim. I am a survivor. I speak about it with a lot of pride, because I am proud of what I have become today. I have not done a mistake. I don’t want my face to be blurred. I am not to be ashamed for. The guys that have done it should be hiding their faces and they should be blurring their faces” – Dr.Sunitha Krishnan

Sunitha was gang raped when she was 15-year-old. She did not let that stop her from helping other women in need. She is the co-founder of an organization that has till date rescued and rehabilitated more that 12,000 survivors of sex trafficking. Prajwala continues to be the world’s largest anti-trafficking shelter for women. Had she felt shame in all that happened to her and never come out, she would not have been able to help so many women.

We need to detach rape and honor. The longer we keep on using them together and associate rape with an act of bringing dishonor, the victims will continue to lead a life of shame and will be forced to hide themselves. The above picture captures the essence of this post –“Shame the Rapist”. Bring the rapist to light, shame him for his act and let him lead a life that is secluded and painful. Isn’t it dual torture when a woman is raped and then shamed throughout her life for all that happened to her?

My message today is to not feel sorry for one who was raped. Help her get back to living life with dignity. Shame the rapist and do not let him be at peace. Whatever may be the case, remember, it’s never the woman’s fault.

I am blogging from A to Z during April (#417 on the list) and the theme I have chosen is set on women. Some of the posts will be here for you to know and some will be to reflect and accept. Share your thoughts and let me know how things are going. There is always a room for improvement. 

53 thoughts on “R for Rapist”

  1. Very inspirational to read the words of dr Sunitha – so strong and powerful. So true – shame the rapist! Very powerful write up- Parul on an important theme! Hats off!

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  3. How brave they are. i wish them all the luck in the world in their fight to make sure women are safer in India, and to make sure blame is laid in the correct place. ~Liz htp://www.lizbrownleepoet.com

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  4. Well said. I teach this in class every semester, and there are always girls in the class who leave or don’t want to talk about it. It breaks my heart. I should not be explaining this to young men. It should be understood.

    @TarkabarkaHolgy from
    Multicolored Diary – Epics from A to Z
    MopDog – 26 Ways to Die in Medieval Hungary

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  5. This is so beautiful! Even though I’m myself a survivor (though not of rape), your post gave me insights I didn’t have before. Particularly, I didn’t realize at first why people asociae rape with honor, until I realized that I too associate these. I don’t personally feel that a woman is dishonored if she has been raped, but I do realize my attitude is to see survivors more as victims.

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  7. In India, often the victim is blamed for the rape and there is no dearth of half-witted politicians stating that women shouldn’t wander at nights, or wear short skirts and all. But the fact is no matter what the woman is wearing or what time she is out or even if she is inside her own house, it is only the rapist’s fault. Very inspiring post. Kudos 🙂

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  8. Why do these rapists simply get away with it? That is the root cause of all the problems. The judges in the courts are men, the lawyers are men, laws are written by men. And the worst is the attitude of the people especially the women folk towards the victim. Then we have our greatly elected politicians who blame the women for the rape.

    Is it so impossible for men to control themselves? Why can’t prostitution be legal?

    You have scratched the surface Parul.. So many things I want to say. A separate post, perhaps. Very well-written.

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    1. I agree Lata..this is just the tip of an iceberg..so much lies beneath that needs to be worded. I was myself feeling that while writing. On the other hand, this is so hard to write..I feel sad!
      Thank you Lata for stopping by!

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  9. Agree with you, the rapist need to put to shame; it is a sad state of affair, in the last one two years; rape has become very common, even a child/an old lady/a nun is not spared and the culprits go roaming without being punished and its really disgusting to keep reading in newspapers atrocities committed against women.

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  11. I was thinking to write on Rape, but it would nowhere be close to what you have written.. the facts that you put in, the research that you do for these blogposts simply applauding..
    M glad to have connected with you..

    Cheers

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  14. It is terrible that a victim is victimized further by the society and the rapists roam freely and proudly! It’s time we truly shame the rapist. Kudos to Dr Sunitha for this initiative!

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  15. Agree 100% that it is never the woman’s fault! It’s been said that rape is all about power and dominance and not about sex, per se. I think that’s true as well. No woman should EVER be dishonoured if she’s raped! Why aren’t these criminals in jail??! Kudos to Dr. Krishnan for helping so many women.

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  17. Such a sad state of affairs for women to be raped and dishonoured for a crime that they did not commit. The laws are polar opposite of what they should be, that is the men shamed not the women for example – and also archaic. They only seem to serve men and no wonder if mostly men are the ones who write the laws and abide to them. How courageous for Dr. Sunitha Krishnan to survive gang rape – such a heinous crime – to help other women. Kudos to her for such an achievement. ❤

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  19. You would think that, by now, rape and honor would never grace the same sentence. This is such a difficult subject for me to read about. I get angry and frustrated and depressed… but it is important, so thank you for writing about it.

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  24. Brilliant ! Rape is never the woman’s fault. I feel the movies which depict women in such a bad light (after rape incidents) are also to be blamed for it. Inspiring words by the idols. Thanks for sharing ! 🙂

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  26. Love this post and the strong message it echoes. Honor is a dirty dirty word in our societies and we need to raise as much as voice as we can, against so called honor lost victims of rape whereas the reality is the pervert people who commit rape are stripped of honor and common humanity.
    Love these women’s expressions, they mean business.

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  27. Sunitha Krishnan has put it so correctly. Women shouldn’t be forced to cover themselves and hide. They shouldn’t feel ashamed but instead those commit such crimes need to feel ashamed.

    But I feel along with this, the faces of those rapists should be openly shown. It should be shown that these are the faces reflecting the voyeuristic behavior in our society.

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