I will write about my experience and not pick up another stereotype but I know many women who keep thinking of excuses so that they don’t hurt family/friends/peers when they say No to someone. Like me, you would have met women in your lives who are all in when ever asked out for a round of shopping, partying, etc.
Coming along for the wedding reception? Sure, let’s go!
Want to go parting? Sure, I am game!
Want to go shopping? Sure, let’s go!
What about that Bangkok trip? Well, I would worry about my Finances but let me check and get back to you.
Want to come for that movie? Oh yes, I love watching movies.
I have met very few women who dare to say NO. And you know what? It’s about that personal choice. While you may have time in hand but there are priorities that are hard to say ‘No’ to. But women do that time and again. They don’t hesitate to give up on what they personally want for the sake of others. For the sake of friends, let go of that personal choice; for the sake of family, let go of that choice to be with friends, and so on. It doesn’t stop anywhere. Then one day, you become a person who in order to please others becomes a person who cannot relate to anymore.
How far is it fair? Is there is a fine balance? Is there a way to not throw any excuse and just say ‘you are in no mood’? You may not be able to keep everyone happy but who can do that anyway? It’s a big world and you can’t just keep on throwing excuses one after the other. There will be a day when you will have to say No without any excuse. So, begin now.
I don’t have an excuse for today. Well, what about you?
I am blogging from A to Z during April (#404 on the list) and the theme I have chosen is set on women. Some of the posts will be here for you to know and some will be to reflect and accept. Share your thoughts and let me know how things are going. There is always a room for improvement.
happiness and food 
NO!!!
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Like I said earlier, I have a hard time saying NO. However, I have gotten better at it. I don’t really put myself first even now. But, I have learnt to give myself as much importance as I give others. So if there are times when I don’t want to do something which others might deem necessary, I simply don’t do it and not make any excuse for it. I just give the real reason, which at times might simply be that I am not in the mood or I am too tired. If that reason is acceptable for someone else, it is acceptable for me. Don’t need to make up excuses that sound good.
*Shantala @ ShanayaTales*
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I think I would fall in the same bucket as you..Thank you Shantala for stopping by..I can’t believe we are just two more days to go! 🙂
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Visiting in these last few days of the #Challenge. Hope you have enjoyed it as much as I have. Glad to find that you have almost completed your theme. I know you have made lots of new blogging friends. Me too. If you aren’t out of breath, come and see my last gasp too. I’ll be watching for you.
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Thanks Stepheny! I am glad you found the time to stop by. Yes, 2 days to go and my first A to Z will be done. Feeling excited. I wrote about women all month long and make a lot of friends. I will surely visit you. Hope you enjoy the posts here 🙂
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Think it’s not just women but also men who want to be part of the crowd and look cool. It’s quite tough saying NO but we should. It’s question of our individuality and getting our priority right. Congrats for reaching to the end of the challenge with a bang:)
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Thank you Vishal. I always thought men are better when it comes to these. VT, my husband can say NO so easily and it sometimes leaves me wondering, really?
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Its tough saying ‘No’. but like you suggest, that’s the beginning to respect ourselves..
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Yep, it is.. Thanks for stopping by Nisha.
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I am like this-I don’t know maybe because I’m a Piscean. I cannot take it if someone doesn’t like me, so I go out of my way to please people. But of late I have started saying no and I have started giving myself more priority 🙂
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That’s a great beginning Prasanna..
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Yes, too much people pleasing – its important to say no when we need to and Yes when we want to. And it must feel right! Great post:-)
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Thanks Eli!
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I will be honest. I used to hate saying No and then got taken for a ride. I still say Yes whenever I can but I stopped making excuses. For instance,with the A-Z, I almost did not take it up, because I have some personal commitments that are making it very, very difficult to blog hop on a daily basis. But, in my heart I knew that the ones who knew me would not judge me and the ones who don’t know me would judge me anyway. Either way, the balance remains the same 🙂 So guess what? No more excuses. I do what I can when I can.
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That’s the way forward Shailaja! 🙂
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Right on Parul! 🙂 I know someone who fits the bill having a hard time saying ‘No’ aiming to please everyone. I wonder if she is truly happy, deep down inside. Does she even know herself, know who she is with her wants and desires?. If she isn’t a “slave” to someone, she’s a doormat to her friends unfortunately.
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oh that’s sad for her 😦
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I feel it is deep rooted to upbringing too. The lessons taught in childhood and the way a girl sees her mother leaves a huge imprint.
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Totally agree with you there!
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I learnt it the hard way. It took a long time but finally I have learnt to say NO… and I prefer not to explain it either!
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That’s the way it should be Shilpa! 🙂
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Very well put, Parul. I do still have trouble with saying No to close family but I’ve learnt to draw the line with friends and colleagues. 🙂 It’s never easy.
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Yes, I do agree. It’s not easy..Thanks for stopping by!
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I think saying NO is generally a universal problem for both men and women :P. I have faced so many situations where I wouldn’t generally say YES but in the end say it just so that the other person is happy.
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Same here! 🙂
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