
I started the car a minimum of eight times at a small bump and still couldn’t move it ahead. Every single time, the engine shut off and I had to start it again. The ninth or the tenth time after reversing a bit, it was possible to move it. No I was not on a steep slope, I’m learning to drive.
Then came a slight uphill, right where I had to enter the main road flyover and the car stopped. There was traffic all around. The engine shut off again and I gave up. Gosh! Just when I had thought I would drive to work today, I was back to be driven.
My story goes a long way to the days when I was growing up. I have always been scared of crossing roads, traffic, zooming vehicles and people around. I can trust a rash driver but I have never attempted to be on the driver’s seat. When I was sixteen, I met with a road accident. On my way back from school and riding on my bicycle I had to take a right turn across the road. I looked behind and saw a motor cycle very far behind. That’s when I turned the handle right, paddled and boom! It was a bad accident for the guy on the bike and me. That scared me even further and to this day, crossing roads on my own means going through a mini decision-making process. Initially I felt it’s cos I cannot assess speed and distance but now I know it’s just plain fear.
Another day during those times, my Mum asked me to test ride her non-geared Scooty one day. I took the bike out, fell down and came back saying, “These things are not for me, I will drive a car.” It took me 15 years to go to driving school and learn this skill. During the last three years, VT has been one voice at home convincing me how important it is to learn to drive. My peers at worked have also motivated me a quite a lot. And I have always listened. And I totally understand. It’s just that I am taking my own time but I have never shunned the idea. I wish there was a magic wand and in the blink of an eye, I could become a safe driver.
Finally, this July I took the leap – I joined a driving school, practiced some 10 hours of driving on the road, 2.5 hours on a simulator and 4 hours of classroom sessions to understand how a car functions. I also learnt how to change a punctured tyre. By now, if you are still with me, you must be thinking, I am all set to pull the car on my own and hit the road. No! I am not.
I am trying and I drive a small distance with VT who supports to the extent that should be fair. I do okay on a straight road and I am good with lane driving but the moment I see myself surrounded in a sea of vehicles, I feel I am the center of all trouble. All the honking that I hear, it seems it’s for me. I get nervous. I don’t panic cos I have promised myself to not be scared but yes, I do feel super tensed. My hands get cold and my throat dries up like I have seen some ghost.
When on the road, it seems every one is in a hurry. People want to honk and zoom across the buses, the bikes, the cars and the three wheelers. They don’t want to stay in their respective lanes. Overtaking from any side is okay as long as they keep moving. No, don’t get me wrong. I am complaining but I am not defending myself. I need to practice. I need to keep trying and in my head I know releasing the clutch takes the car forward and that stepping up on the accelerator makes it moves further. I just need to keep myself calm and try till I succeed.
I will not give up. It scares me but I will try again tomorrow. I will again get on that driver’s seat. I will again go over that bump hopefully in one smooth second and maybe I will be able to pull the car from that little steep road and smoothly get on the flyover. Very soon, I will start driving to work on my own.
In India, one needs to learn driving on a manual car, appear in a test to get a license and then progress to an automatic car. I intend to learn a geared car and drive that as I become confident.
Participating in Yeah Write’s Weekly Challenge #228 and sharing something that I would just share with the readers of this blog and no one else. 
Well good luck with your driving experience. You should try with a bulldozer that way you can learn to drive and people around you will keep distance. Gambhir masley, gambhir nuskhey
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Ha ha! Well, that’s some advise 😉
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The pleasure is all mine.
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It is a good start towards achieving liberation. To give you some support and motivation I would like to tell you that I have been through all this 12-13 years back when I was learning driving. I broke too many indicators of my maruti 800 while parking and my car was also used to set its perfect timing with shutting down on viewing heavy traffic. I was a very nervous driver. And after driving all these years, I am here at this stage where I can call myself a decent driver.
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I needed someone to tell me it’s okay and it happens. Thank you for that. Sometimes, I feel I should have learnt it when I was 18. That’s the age to pick up things fast. All these are excuses. eh?
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Yes Parul, very much.. these are all plain excuses…
I was one very, very scary driver and thought i could never ever do it…
But my determination did not let me down – so i used to wake up early morning by 5 and go drive on the roads when it used to be free….. This gave me confidence that i can atleast drive when no one’s around…
Further, it lead to me think that let me use the corner most lane on the road and drive very slowly.. thus giving way to all those who were in hurry to move ahead…. slowly i gained the confidence as days went by and within few months, i have gone on so many long drives and i drive daily to office…
Driving is soooooo much fun now.. and i miss my car even if i don’t drive a day….!!!
All the very best … 🙂
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Hey – thank you for that comment. It feel good to know that it’s a possible approach. May take time but possible. Super thank you 🙂
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I can relate so well to what you are experiencing while driving as if I am writing this. I have taken lessons from driving school twice and I know I will become a good driver when I practice. But for me, taking out car on the road, I am all blank as I get nervous and forget everything around.
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Good luck buddy 🙂 keep going ahead 🙂 dar ke aage he jeet hai 😉
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I am going to remember that one for sure! 🙂
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🙂
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Lol.. I used to hate the manual shift cars when I learnt to drive. Good Luck, practice makes u perfect.. keep driving!
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Oh my! I feel for you with your driving fears. I let my license expire once after having a minor accident where I skidded off a ramp in Montreal and ended up in a snowbank. That shook me up even though I didn’t get hurt.
I don’t think I’d enjoy driving in India. All that traffic would scare me to death. I’m a better driver in traffic than I used to be but I still get nervous sometimes. Do you drive on the left side of the road or the right? Interesting to hear you have to learn how to drive manual first before progressing to automatic. I never learned manual/standard and only drive automatic. I live out in a rural area and have to commute into the city so have no choice but to drive unless I want to stay trapped out here. I’m way more confident than I used to be but I still don’t like lots of traffic with too much going on.
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Thanks Cat! We drive on left side of the road. To get a license we need to pass the test on a manual one and that’s why the driving schools teach you that. With a learner license, like the one I have, I need to be accompanied by someone who has a proper driving license. Tricky! 🙂
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I learnt driving, got a licence and that’s that. I don’t drive. I ride my scooter everywhere. The mistake I made was waiting too long to learn driving. It was 30 years before I got behind the wheel of a car. Sigh, I cannot advise you, but do keep at it and make sure you don’t lose faith.
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I used to drive in the US. I don’t even have a driving license in India. Even with a license I am unsure about driving in India. The sea of vehicles zooming past from all sides; I don’t know! Plus I know to drive only in automatic cars. All the best Parul. I am sure, with your determination you will drive to work soon. 🙂
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Indian roads- the best place to learn driving. People say that if you can drive in India, you can drive anywhere in the world. So I guess it will be a great achievement once you get it. All the best! And also in my opinion, don’t sweat it out so much on the manual first then automatic…Automatic does make things easier. It kind of reminds me of the normal vs cesarean delivery :p (totally useless to compare the two 😉 ;))
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we are in the same boat Parul. 🙂
I learnt driving(4 wheeler) from driving school, gave driving test, passed successfully, tried on crowded and normal roads to office with my spouse behind, but had to take a break due to pregnancy when i was 80% confident to drive . And when i have to sit on driver seat again, everything seems difficult and again I am back to basics, learning steering and lost confidence.
From my childhood, i was also afraid of driving and didn’t allow my father to buy a 2 wheeler for me and preferred going to college by bus. But now, i have decided to drive my 4 wheeler on my own for sure.. might take time to overcome fear, but not giving up. 🙂
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All the best .. One thing is sure one who can drive on indian roads can drive anywhere in the world.
I learnt Driv8g when I was in 10th class and one of my uncles who lived in kolkata got my license made from guwahati. .:)
I am sure soon you will be whizzing on the roads… Keep driving all the best. ..
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Try try and you will succeed. I fully emphathise with you. After driving for 20 years gave up driving in want of good roads and sensible traffic on Mumbai roads. Feel not my cup of tea, bu after reading your piece, feeling inspired.
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I have the same fears of driving. But, I gave up at the age of about 45 years. I regret it now, but what’s done is done. I wish you every success. Stay determined.
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Hey Parul. Thanks for stopping by my blog. As I read this post of yours, I remembered a 58 year old man who comes to our local pool very early in the morning to learn to swim. I often take my little ones very early in the morning because there’s hardly anyone there. Anyway, this man was making small talk with me and he seemed very self-conscious that he was a beginner. I told him I had immense admiration that he started and that he’s persevering. I feel the same about your driving adventures. I’m sure have some form of residual trauma from your accident, and justifiably so, but you’re persevering and that’s what matters. Don’t stop trying. Good luck!
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Thank you so much Preeti for encouraging. Yes, I don’t want to give up but there are residual fears as you rightly said. Hopefully one day I would fight them all:)
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You’re welcome. Have you considered getting counseling? It might help overcome your fears.
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Good luck Parul, I know you are going to master the art of driving, despite the existing hurdles in face of south asian women drivers. It isn’t easy at all, but I know you!
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Good for you, Parul – keep it up! Even if you choose not to drive often, it’ll be a huge confidence boost knowing you *can.* 🙂
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Thank you so much Christine. That will be a relief knowing that I can handle emergencies. Appreciate that you stopped by 🙂
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You will make it! Just keep trying and ease off the clutch. You are braver than I however… I’ve been driving for 55 years and would never try to drive in India.
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Ah ease off the clutch and then grab it soon. A balance is what we need. Thank you for encouraging.
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I am sure you are making the effort and will succeed sooner rather than later. Moreover, considering the traffic scenario in India, a manual car will always require a perfect balance between clutch and brake with a just a little of accelerator. The energy goes away in achieving that balance so much so that the ankles start to pain 😛
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Ha ha! Yes – my ankles and knee both have started to hurt 😛
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Haha can totally empathize with you 😉
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