A friend of mine is getting married and I have been accompanying her for many things related to planning and like wise. One important thing on the list was fixing a salon for her. We went to a couple of major brands and since I am not very knowledgeable in this field, feeling out-of-place was my first reaction. We visited two brands together and my expectations plummeted
Brand A and Owner S: She was a smart woman with the gift of gab. One who could easily cajole anyone into accepting her brand’s bridal package. She would exactly tell you what you would want to hear and she knew how to hard sell.
“I have the best make-up artist in the zone. She does such a fabulous job that her work is known all over the south zone. She has had clients from the film industry. Usually this artist is booked months in advance but this time we wanted to let her choose her clientele and she thinks she can make you look beautiful on your wedding day.”
S very smartly highlighted my friend’s positives and kept on repeating how her lovely skin color can be made to look elegant by her makeup artist.
Process: Brand A gave my friend a free trial and coaxed her to get a dress with jewelry so that they can give her the best look possible and help her arrive at a decision. The pricing was competitive and they said that it was the last day for this best price. Usual tactics we know but this pressure usually works.
Not just that, S told me, “It’s your friend’s wedding and you should also take a package. With your eyes, we can make you look gorgeous! Give us a chance”. Well, S didn’t know that such lines never work on me. My definition of beauty is different.
Brand B and Owner M: This was a much bigger and well-known brand than A. They made us wait, offered us free refreshments many times in their unisex posh place. The owner walked in carrying a LV bag, perfectly manicured nails and wore a rock. She was older and graceful. Apologizing for her delay, she blamed her staff for lack of coordination and offered us lemonade. She was a smart talker, knew her stuff and kept throwing in the names of big brands to confirm her presence. She was not selling but she knew that we were with her all along the way.
“Beta, you have lovely hair. I can give you a gorgeous cut and make you shine during the cocktail party. Your traditional look will be awesome. The jewelry that we use will be all yours. Tell me, what areas you want to hide and highlight. How about your body? Is your back clean? Any pigmentation? Show me your feet? By the way, can you help me understand how you take care of your skin? Do you use an exfoliant? What sunscreen you apply before you step out of your house in the morning? And you do have those dark circles. Hai na, beta? Don’t worry! We will take you in two months before your wedding and we will get all these problem areas sorted. You will dazzle. “
Process: An assistant prepared a treatment card and quoted a six figure package. From head to toe, my friend got a solution in form of a service or bottle for all so-called problem areas. We sat in an exclusive bridal make up room and were offered sandwiches and another round of lemonade. My friend looked at the six figure and both of us wondered if we really needed all that.
Yes, nothing has been decided yet for my friend but all this left me wondering on two things.
Method: It’s unique. They show you pictures of people who they have worked on. Yes, I say worked on – cos they treat you as an object that needs decoration. They will make a bouffant of your hair whether you like it or not. They will lighten your skin tone a minimum by two tones whether you prefer that or not. They will use glitter, sprays, hundreds of branded or non-branded products for those couple of hours and make you look who you are not. Yes, you will feel good after the thousands you have spent. The horror stories are never exposed but the beautiful stories take the form of a ‘before and after’ album.
Concept: The business of ‘making you look beautiful’ is a big one. These professionals will hide your blemishes and your dark circles. But for what and for whom? For a day, for those pictures or in front of those guests? Why? What if a bride looks gorgeous in her lovely dress and without foundation or those eye shadow colors? Why do appearances matter so much? Why that flawless skin and a glowing face is so much in demand? Your soon-to-be spouse has seen you without make up. Your family and friends are aware of those spots on your face. Isn’t it? The pictures need a happy you, don’t they?
I am not saying that you should not look good on your special day but is it really that important? Is it important to spend so much and deal with people who make your realize you are no good without their make up? I told my friend that if I was in her place, I would have felt horrible highlighting my skin color, marks on face and not at all perfect body. This business is not something I can ever believe in. What makes me beautiful, makes you beautiful. It’s who we are within and not how we are on the outside.
Disclaimer : I have nothing against the profession. It is the concept that troubles me and how this has become a mandate instead of an option.
Writing today for Yeah Write #236
happiness and food 
Couldn’t agree more with you but don’t be hard on the bride. Shouldn’t it be the day she really looks the best? Of course the idea of beauty changes over the years and when I look at my photos as a bride, I wonder how I ever thought I was the most beautiful 😉
And also look at it this way, with all the ugly babes dressed and made up to the nines, it will hold you in good stead to at least feel less awkward and diffident when they stand next to you in the wedding photos….
I know this may sound that I’m all about the look but no – in today’s world where it’s all about me and your life is a Facebook page, it wouldn’t harm to look good would it?
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I agree with your thoughts. My point is all about the way this is sold. I am not against a bit of make up to look better but it should not be to the extent that it hides the real person. The way it is sold is totally hard on the bride in my mind.
But yes, I agree life is that Facebook page!
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Hey bang on buddy 🙂 I too feel that way 🙂 Spending so much of your hard earned money on looking beautiful 😛 I never got that point 😦 I am strictly against spending so much amount on marriages and anything associated with it ..be it dresses , makeup or the venues …Why waste your money when you require it so much in your near future 🙂
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With you there Neeraja 🙂 Thank you for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!
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I so agree with you, Parul. The sales pitch of the beauty coaches that make you aware that you don’t look good the way you are is something that does not appeal to me. Same goes for the ones who are in MLM of beauty products.
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Exactly my point! Thank you Shilpa! 🙂
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Completely agree with you Parul. I got a funny thought in my mind.. what if they make the bride look so different that everyone in the marriage hall wonder if she actually is the person who they saw before marriage :p You know.. I met one friend, who got a complete makeover for her marriage and she didn’t like to see her marriage album now as it doesn’t look like her 🙂
By the way, liked your background of blog – Fall colours 🙂
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Ha ha! That’s a funny thought but on a serious note – sad for your friend.
And those falls colors are from Bangalore 🙂 Thank you Ramya!
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It’s all a money making business si they have to sell.
Oh man this reminds me when I went for my sis wedding last year.. since I was a vilayati and was not considered useful anymore the only task given to me was to drive her to the salon and bring her.. 4 hours it took .. 4 hours of my life got wasted sitting in that stupid waiting room and waitinggggggg…
I am just wondering if we all look after ourself daily then do we need to go and spend so much for one day..
Anyway all the best to your friend on her wedding and god bless
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Gosh! Sad for you!
Your wishes will be conveyed. Thank you 🙂
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You’ve got a point. Wedding day is such a special day and girls are so anxious to look their best they’ll probably do anything for it. That’s the anxiety the beauty business builds on. The hard sell leaves me completely cold. In fact I’m conditioned to refuse an offer if someone pushes too hard.
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This one turned me off too. And you are right – they build on the anxiety that women go through to look their best on wedding day! Thanks Tulika!
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I agree with you. I don’t wear make up on normal occasions, expecting people to take me as I am. After all–men are not expected to paint their face. The gender balance is all wrong. Everyone should do what they are happy with. If they want to look better than they are, so be it.
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Well said. Thank you Francene.
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If I told you how I looked the day I got married….well, I won’t. I agree with you totally.
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Thanks Alana!
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My wedding makeup was done by my sister and mom dressed me up. I loved how it was a complete family thing. Although, in general, I am very careful about my skin and any sign of acne drives me crazy. 😛
Shopping for lotions and sunscreens in India sometimes becomes a chore when the sales person would look intently at my face and then tell me how to get rid of dark circles 😛
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That must have been so wonderful. I went to a local parlour and I totally owned the way I was dressed and the make up stuff. I also had a friend who was by my side telling the folks to say light and it worked. I wanted to be who I was. Dusky. 🙂
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wonderful write up.The concept part was the best and need more write up on that part to let people know how to deal with themselves or at least think the other way. congrats
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Thanks! 🙂 Glad you liked it!
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I remember on my wedding day having a professional do my makeup and wiping half of it off because it was too much. It didn’t look like me. There is something to be said for highlighting your natural beauty, but our society generally goes way beyond that.
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Ouch! That’s sad and happens a lot of times. You are right on what is expected of brides. Thanks Jennifer.
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I agree with the thought behind this post. A lot of emphasis is put on looking good on the outside, which is not very healthy, especially for young, impressionable teens. But I guess we could cut the bride some slack for wanting to look good on her wedding day. 🙂
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Agree there as well Shantala. I am all for that. Who doesn’t want to look their best but when it turns to a business is when it not so good.
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Hii Parul,
I love to dress up.. I love to look good.. and I love make up..but not at the cost of being portrayed someone else! Wedding day is an important day in all of our lives.. I totally enjoyed my wedding.. every function.. dancing, music, food, meeting everyone.. I enjoyed it completely.. and there is no harm if someone wants to look their best.. but what becomes a problem is when it becomes a business.. The not-so competent staff treats us and points out all the skin problems we have, ignoring the rest of the stuff! And it is simply money making.. they can do the same job in a 3 to 4 figure no. but they deliberately make you feel that you need it so bad or else your great day might get spoilt.. I loved the underlying message you’re trying to give!
Cheers
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Totally agree with you! Even I like to dress up and I don’t step out without Kajal. But if make up changes you, then it’s not for you is my idea. Thanks for stopping by!
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Hi,
I like makeups, but minimal. My husband also believes in natural beauty. So I am happy . My pocket money is also safe 🙂
anyway I really enjoyed reading your article.
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Thank you Akhila 🙂
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Hi Parul!
Visiting your blog after long and loving the new look!
I agree with you here, Parul. The way the beauticians change a bride’s complete face and personality; it becomes difficult to believe it is the same girl you have known all your life! The way these brands/people sell their stuff, it ,at times, reeks of desperation! I hardly touched my face with any makeup at my wedding! In fact, my friends kept asking if I was indeed getting married! Beauty does have different meanings to different people. For me, it means, being confident and comfortable in my own skin- flaws and all!
Great write-up!
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Shilpa – Thank you for stopping by! Happy you liked the new look. I recently changed it. You and I are on the same page here. Thank you!
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I agree 100%. It also adds to the idea that getting older is a bad thing because the “flaws” become harder to hide.
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So true!
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Aha.. i am seeing it becoming big business in smaller cities and towns. And ultimately, just a way to squeeze money out of you. Then the womens magazines are also full of how to prepare for your wedding which again gives all channels to spend money. Marriage is good business after all.
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So true. It’s all a business now.
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Well, on my wedding reception party, both me and my wife are completely without makeup. Sarah applied a hint of foundation and lip color at home and we are ready to go. I personally believe makeup ruins your true beauty. If people love you, they love you irrespective of your hair color, skin tone and any other physical issues. These fairness cream ads showcase you can get the best partners and jobs in life only if you apply their fairness cream. Give me a break.
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So true! You guys are rockstars. Leading from the front. 🙂
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It is amazing that 10 years back, my wedding happened without any facial and just normal hairstyle and a viel on top. My mother bought my wedding saree (she gave a choice of 3) and said she found it reasonably priced and I said OK. I had no manicure/pedicure stuff. A beatician friend of my mom did the honours and I hated it. For the reception, I did my own makeup from my own set and looked better. What is more, I did not diet or workout to look gorgeous either.
Things have changed. I now watch what I eat and do workouts and have a cleanup facial and all that once in a while. Things changed on the outside as things changed on the inside as well. I wear makeup to office everyday and to church every week. But Why? There are a few things and maybe I will write about them soon.
BTW, it is a lovely post. I don’t see why this blog is a private one though.
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Thanks Rahini for stopping by! I am surprised how you are finding this a private blog. It is not. Can’t seem to figure out what’s the issue. 😦
I am glad you shared. I got married 5 years ago and had make up and stuff but it was pretty controlled and the way I wanted. Since then I haven’t worn make up or even had a manicure. But things are changing and so are people. Would love to read your take.
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