Most women dream about their marriage, how the ceremonies would unfold, bind two souls with one thread, the coming together for celebrations with families and friends and then, the life beyond. With death, grief is natural. The pain is immense and harder is the acceptance of being a widow.
Vrindavan, is a holy city in India and it is believed that Lord Krishna spent his childhood days in the city. Over many years, widows from across India started moving to Vrindavan and today around 20,000 widows live in the city. These women who moved were the ones who were ostracized by their families and not even given time to grieve after their husbands’ passed away. Wearing white clothes, shaved heads, no piece of metal on their body and a life of solitude – they started making Vrindavan their home.
Old women or young girls. Widows in the city sing devotional songs and beg for a living. They are poor and their condition is so bad that sometimes there is no one to even take them on their final journey. But they still want to live in the holy city and spend the rest of their lives in the divine presence of the Lord.
Many government and non-government organizations work tirelessly to provide support and rehabilitate these women but know that this is no small feat. Many are old and many are uneducated. Too young to be pushed and there are always those rackets on lookout for vulnerable women. In all such circumstances, social pressures of being a widow and a broken heart by the death of a loved one, it gets even harder to survive.
Sulabh International Social Service Organisation has been working on campaigns and over the last three years, they got these women out of their home to celebrate Holi, the festival of colors for the first time. This year was even more special since the festival was organized right inside a famous Lord Krishna’s temple, Gopinath Temple. This step was to build acceptance in the society. So that the women could have some colors in their lives.
For today, let’s just celebrate the colors of life with these women. Let’s find the meaning of happiness in those eyes. Let’s smile through them and be grateful for what we have.
I am blogging from A to Z during April and the theme I have chosen is set on women. I am also a minion on co-host Pam’s Unconventional Alliance along with Claire, Shalini and Rajlakshmi. Visit us, show us some love and don’t leave without sharing your thoughts.
happiness and food 
Even the thought of the painful lives widows at Vrindavan lead sends a chill down my spine. It’s a shame that in today’s era too women are punished for the death of their spouses by painting their lives with unending misery.
Adding colors of being alive and joy with the possibility of a better future for the widows at Vrindavan sounds like a wonderful initiative.
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That looks like a great holiday and an excellent organization for women, girls, and widows.
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The plight of these widows highlights another major issue. The lack of legal rights of widows over the property of their husbands. Most of them are left without a penny and have nowhere else to go. They are unemployed as a choice or because they lack the skills. Many are not even aware of their own marital rights. This really needs to be highlighted. Once marital rights of women are in place, we should not have so many destitute widows.
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Parul, I saw a documentary on Discovery channel about the very same topic. It was unimaginable that these poor women live in such dire conditions. And to think that living in Vrindavan is still better than living with their families who disowned them is even more depressing! A great initiative by Sulabh to enliven the sad women’s lives.
@KalaRavi16 from
Relax-N-Rave
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I wish they get their lives back.. nobody deserves this treatment at the hands of others..
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Is it only in India that widows have such a sad life?
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When I watched the movie ‘Water’ I was dumbstruck. Apparently a few widows even take up prostitution to survive. It is such a sad state 😦
I love the thought and research you have been putting into every post Parul. Shows your dedication and concern.
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It’s sad that our society is like this!
Tina From
The Sunny Side of Life
Twinkling Tina Cooks
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I am glad that these NGO’s have stepped in to help them. At least some are helping in some or the other way 😦
M -Men are from Mars
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It’s weird, no? I remember reading about how widows were not treated properly in my History textbooks. And things still haven’t changed? 😦
It really is a good initiative by SISSO. Specially the Colours of Holi. Festivals are something that unite all of us, irrespective of any other discriminating factor. I do hope and pray that things are better for these women.
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Good that you highlight their plight and the work being done for them but a mental shift is needed to not see marriage as ultimate salvation and widowhood as ultimate curse for women.
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Have read about the plights of widows in Vrindavan and it is really heart wrenching. It is truly sad that such beliefs and practices are followed still. Glad that the NGO added a few colours and smiles in their lives!
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Oh wow.. Now that’s a positive step to help these women… Wish such social stigmas and taboos disappear from society soon.
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we ,the family members are responsible for their such condition. God has never discriminated between a widow and a non – widow . no where its written that they can’t enjoy, they can’t eat non- veg or wear colourful saaries . its all due to man made society nothing else .
we should raise voice in their support .
v good post parul
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It simply feels sad knowing how women are treated after they lost their husbands. And if it’s the newly wedded bride, the society treats her as if she’s eaten her husband or something. What people fail to realize is that it would be the last thing or rather it is something that she would never want in her life and as early as this couldn’t be less than a nightmare!
Sulabh International seems to be doing a really wonderful job!
Thanks for sharing 🙂
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साहिर लुधियानवी की एक पोएम की लाइन है ‘जिन्हें नाज़ है हिन्द पर वे कहाँ है ‘
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Wow it takes a lot of guts to break conventions and do something as bold as playing holi.
Kudos to the widows of vrindavan. May they break these meaningles conventions and venture out boldly.
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White saris, shaved heads, debarment from festivals and a dozen other restrictions were ingrained in my mind about widows as I grew up, thanks to the movies from 1950’s and 60’s. My nanaji died, when I was 8, and I expected the same to happen to my nani but nothing like that happened. She continued to wear her coloured cotton saris. The sindoor vanished as it had to but nobody barred her from attending festivals.
After reading this post I went online to check about the widows of Vrindavan and came across numerous stories, the majority of those speak about poverty, lack of education and ill-treatment at the hands of family. Accolades to the efforts of organisations such as Sulabh International in making an effort of bringing little differences to the impoverished lives of these widows.
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