I remember when I was little, I never thought so much. I would listen to people and do as I wanted. Today, I think about things. I do as I want but I know deep within that I am being judged. Sometimes, I over think and analyse and then wonder why, who said what?
Childhood is that time of life when you think people control you and once you grow up, things would be easy. Growing up, things become more complicated. More people want to control your life as you grow up. More than you can count on your fingers. During childhood, there were simple instructions and now there are complex and convoluted hints. It’s up to you to decipher all that. If you do it successfully, you end up thinking more. If you don’t, you are told you are insensitive.
I remember, all I had to do was study well cos everyone said, that would lead to a bright future. No one explained what a bright future meant. A monthly paycheck, an annual international vacation, your own house? Peace of mind?
There were conversations with friends and we laughed till it hurt. Now, we laugh to be a part of the moment.
Then, if we did not like what was being told, we could just pretend to listen, staring at a distant object, and let it pass. Now, we have to nod, agree, disagree, laugh and show we are interested. Facebook has given us the reactions too. To choose those over words but say something.
Then, there used to be a few I-me-myself friends and now, most of the people I meet belong to that category. At times, I feel I know some people’s family history more than I know mine. To someone like me who listens attentively, I like to connect dots and say I am interested. (did you notice the I-me-myself tag there?)
My friends used to get me my favorite food at school. Kebabs and stuffed parathas. Now, I decide what is to be cooked and yet, it never excites me.
It used to take me thirty minutes on my cycle to get to school and today I curse traffic thirty times on an hour ride back home. I see people honking the moment a traffic signal turns green, showing fingers and throwing words at strangers. I thought we were taught to not talk to strangers. What happened to that?
I remember when I was little, things were so simple. For everything that I did not like, I had to just get back home, read a book or talk to parents and let it pass. Now, I get back home, make myself a cup of tea and think, why, who said what.
Sometimes, I don’t like the growing-up business.
happiness and food 
So true, Parul! I think exactly the same thoughts as you do here. I love the simplicity of not having to read between the lines – that childhood used to be! But sometimes, with some people, I like being a grown-up because I can give it back to them (you know what I mean!) there and then and they can no longer make me cry as they used to, when I was just a child!
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Beautifully written.
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A day in the life of a child in today’s day may have a few problems similar to those of adults (yes, it’s true). The growing-up business is happening at a faster pace than before, I an assure you of that. But as you’ve said, children always have the option of going home, reading a book, talking to their parents about the problem.
Maybe adults just tend to see things in a much more complicated manner, and don’t see things at face value? Or maybe there are too many facades and illusions?
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Sigh and sigh some more! I really want a time-machine. Wasn’t life ever so simple? Responsibilities, duties, public image, maintaining relations…..blah, blah, blah, feel tired to even enlist them! But maybe, just maybe, the grass is greener….?
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I know. I don’t like the growing-up business either. Too much overanalyzing at times, and it can’t be helped, and likewise, the side effects of that decision.
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I can somewhat connect with what you say here. But on many levels I am also relieved and happy to be my age and with everything that growing up has brought me. What I connect with in this freewrite is the honesty of your voice, the questions you are grappling with and the answers you think you might be looking for. As someone who is about to turn 50 soon, let me tell you that life surprises us in ways we can never expect. And also as the song goes – the answer is blowing in the wind. Both these things are true, at least that has been my experience 🙂 So enjoy this phase of not knowing 🙂
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I’m okay about growing up I guess. I had opinions and views as a child too. I was asked to not say anything to adults as it was rude even if it was an innocent question. But I get your point of over thinking and getting tangled in who said what and why. I go through that, many times a day. I feel sad and empty too which wasn’t a part of childhood. But still I don’t mind growing up, finding my own voice and giving wings to my voice and being able to share my learning’s with kid, all those make it okay to grow up. I loved the way you wrote this, Parul. Straight from your heart. 🙂
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There’s nothing like a carefree childhood. As we grow up, we start complicating our lives. Nice post.
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I can relate to your thoughts on so many levels. Yes, life was so much simpler, fun and beautiful when we were kids. Now it has become just complex and tedious sometimes with responsibilities, expectations, ambitions, comparisons etc! Wish we could go back to the carefree days once again!
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Oh this growing up business is tough… But just drink your tea and don’t care what others say. Or even better be the drama queen rather than let others take hold of your affairs… Sigh no wonder I have no friends. Very thoughtful post Parul.
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Yes! This growing up business is for the birds more often than not. I do the same thing, trying to fall asleep at night, I analyze everything that I said, and someone else said, and why.. ugh. It’s exhausting being an adult.
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Very well expressed, Parul. Those truly were simpler times.
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Growing-up is not all that simple…..:) But there ain’t any escape….:)
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It’s one of those ‘double-edged’ swords, isn’t it, Parul? Ideally, we’d like the best of everything…the happiness and carefree times of our childhood, but with the ability to ‘do what we want’ that adulthood gives us.
Wonder if there’s such a time 🙂
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Ah well, I am not there yet. Right now I’m in the stage where I am expected to take my decisions and then am made to modify it to suit the others. Maybe things get complicated, but it would definitely be better than being ordered around. Or that could just be me wanting to be independent.
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I feel the opposite way. As a child, I couldn’t do things my way, yes except for laughing, for I didn’t know what my way was. Now I have clarity of what I want and what needs to be done. I was always guided back then. Now I enjoy the me-ness. I was always under the confinement of adhering to taught rules then. Now I make my own rules. Not that my childhood was miserable, it was more like a learning phase and am happy with the present that the learning has shaped my path well. The fact that I don’t meet many such mean people about whom one thinks the who said what, makes much difference about our perceptions. As always, a read for a food a food for thought from you, Parul 😀
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Laugh to be in the moment… this line touched me. It happens so many times with so many of us, where we do things only to be in the moment. Childhood sure was simpler, but there was no freedom. Now that we have freedom, it has come with a baggae of burden and complications, judgements, and too much thinking.
It happens with me all the time.. I overthink all the time, and spoil my mood.. for no reason..
I totally get what you mean but still I’d say, it’s pointless to fretter over such issues. Don’t think too much. Things will always remain the way they are. It’s for us to let go. Simple!
Cheers
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Nostalgia…..I wish to be a child again!!
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I agree I do not like adulting. It seems like all there is to grown up life is working, paying bills, having responsibilities and doing it all over again. While I wouldn’t want to be a child in today’s world, I still wish there was something more to being a grown up. Something with meaning and purpose and living in the moment.
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You already know I was very quiet in my childhood and my mind never worked in tandem with outside situations. i could never give an answer back. Then I would go back home and tell my mother about what somebody said and I would meet up with “Why can’t you give back an apt reply?” Apart from the time spent playing, talking, fighting with my brother I wouldn’t like to return to my childhood. Growing up does complicate things. Last week I came back from a family function and all elders wanted to know was ‘lifaafe main paise kitne the.’ I haven’t opened them up yet because it doesn’t matter to me. I am silly to think this way. I am required to derive meaning from between the lines of what people say and to make assumptions. Assumptions is the hardest part of growing up. Yet, I choose to keep my life simple by staying away from assumptions, complicated people and thought processes.
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