Life with a non-reader

Posted on by Parul Thakur
My e-book reader

I have a book at home, signed “For our first-born, love – Mummy & Papa, November 14, 19xx“. Ten days before I came into the world.  This book is what I call the first gift from my parents.

Growing up, my brother and I had plenty of options to read and a variety of books within reach. Classics, fiction, series, monthly publications, magazines or newspapers – read what you want. During vacations, we utilized time arranging and cataloging Papa’s books. A fun activity that hardly ever helped achieved the goals.

With so many books to read, textbooks took the happy second place. My brother and I had different taste. While he preferred classics, world history, and all the serious stuff, I enjoyed fiction. Hindi or English, the narration is what I have loved. From Premchand’s small town stories to Arthur Hailey’s hospital scenes, the sci-fi of Robin Cook to the magical underwater world and the scary Moby Dick, I find myself getting transported and see the life of the protagonist my way. That’s the power of a good book for me. During engineering days, reading took a back seat but at least one book was always at the study table. If not, newspapers and editorials. 

And then I fell in love and married a non-reader. Someone who used to read Outlook Money when we met and now reads annual reports of companies. I have never seen VT with a book unless it’s a textbook. A couple of sheets stapled together is his after dinner reading thing. 

And that doesn’t upset me. We are two different people. But what do I buy as a gift for him is my problem. So that first time knowing that he works with an investment bank, I bought him Ravi Subramanian’s If God Was A Banker. I wrote a loving birthday message and hid it somewhere for him find. Later, I read the book. I made him read the message later. Then a couple of years ago, we had a long discussion about management tactics and again, his birthday was around the corner. I picked up The Art of War. The book is still as good as new.

A non-reader at home is fun to be around. If you are thinking why, here are a few reasons:

  • There are no shared books. My books are mine and only mine. 
  • What I talk about a book is right. Always.
  • There are no discussions at home about which book to buy. I buy what I want to read and the chapter is closed.
  • If there is an author on TV, I know her and her books. Also, I have an opinion that is right. 
  • It’s my Kindle and not our’s. 

I like it this way for the remote is his and the Kindle is mine. While he can have a home theater to watch action movies whenever we own our place, I can have a mini study all for myself. Life with a non-reader is fun as I see it. What do you think?

Last year, when I read Shantala’s post on Perks of Marrying A Non-Reader, I had wanted to share my story. A year later, it’s still the same. 

53 thoughts on “Life with a non-reader”

  1. That’s a great way to look at it, you have your own space. I used to think it’s much easier when readers are together, they just click. It isn’t always so then is it? Nice to know.

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  2. Same with my husband. He has read a handful of fiction though he is an avid comics reader and reads his IT textbooks the way we read our novels. I’ve never really felt that it made a difference. 😃

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  3. A positive way appreciate the non-reader husband🙂. I however sometimes wish my husband loved to read. He has no inclination to read any book. The only book that he read once was by Napoleon Hill. I would love if he read and if we discussed. He listens when I have something to share but then there isn’t much he can add since he has not read the book.

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  4. I can totally relate to that thing 😉 My husband is total geek, so the only books he reads are technical books 😀 The funny part is he once bought few books to take up reading, but never bothered to open them up and when we got married, it was me who pulled them out of his closet and read it and shared the story 😀 And i totally go with your points …when it comes to literature, I am the master 😉 and it’s always my kindle and his laptop 😛

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  8. Fascinated with the cover of your Kindle, Parul.
    We’re both readers – the bookshelves in our flat in Mumbai are a testament to that. We ran out of space -thankfully we both moved to reading on e-readers. Thankfully, our tastes are quite dissimilar. I remember all the book wars with my brothers when we were kids.

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  9. You parents gifted you a book before you were born!! that is so thoughtful 😀 Wow!!
    hahaha I agree with your points. I married a non reader too, but that also means that he totally doesn’t understand my need to buy new books even if there are unread ones in my shelf 😛

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  11. “It’s my Kindle and not ours.” That’s music to any book lover’s ears!
    Honestly, I wouldn’t share my Kindle with anyone. It’s not that they would judge the books I read (which are mostly Young Adult and Harry Potter) but that they would mess with the ‘reading progress’ and ‘time taken to read a chapter’ numbers 😀

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  12. This is indeed a satirical way to look at the scenario. The downside for me is that I cannot not have those long discussions about my childhood days when I used to pretend to be Nancy Drew and act all smart and curious with people who don’t read. But I have made my peace with that. There are so much else to ponder together. Isn’t it? 🙂

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  13. That’s the way I see my love for fish! My husband doesn’t like fish and I love them. When we dine out or cook at home, I don’t have to share, every bit is mine. 🙂 In reading department, my husband reads on and off, and our reading tastes overlaps a lot. But since we are mostly getting books from the library it’s all going good so far. I read in tab too. Thankfully husband doesn’t like that. So I’m good. Loved the first gift from your parents, Parul. Very thoughtful! 🙂

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  14. Yep, totally agree! Each happy in his own kingdom! Lucky you! Ask me, forever warring about my kinda books against his, my kindle and our kindle, ebooks Vs hardbound books, lights out, lights on…..you get the drift?

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  16. I so so so agree :O The mister falls asleep on the contents page when I ask him to read a paragraph. Literally. Not exagerrating -_-
    But because I miss discussing books with him (despite having a billion friends to discuss with :/), I sometimes tell him the precis of the story and ask what he thinks about it.
    Then I proceed to state my opinion and because he has not read the book, my opinion, by default, is right, of course ;P

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  17. You and I share the joys, my friend. 😀 And now that we have recently moved to our own house, I am figuring out the best place for my little home library, and I love it that the decision is all mine. 😀

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  18. My husband doesn’t read fiction at all. When he reads books it’s either history or politics. And the rest of the time he is on google reading one topic after the other as if the world will end and I understand that feeling. It is the same with me for fiction and now even memoirs. Oh by the way, Parul, you are Nov 14th born? My daughter too, you know? 🙂

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  19. I love your positive spin on being a reader and your partner not being that much an avid read. Love how you can have all the books to yourself, and you are free to fantasise in your world of words. Hopefully VT isn’t the kind to turn the volume up very high when he is watching his movies at home, or else that would disturb your reading 🙂 You have your interest, and I have mine – which is great because the two of you can define yourselves and have some alone time and being each other 🙂

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  20. So he’s like me. I love management books as well, and have been an investor in India stock markets for long…that’s what I work on every day.

    No issues between me and Saru as well on her books!

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  22. Its the same here. Having non-readers at home is good and bad because I cannot share the excitement which gets me onto the web then. But i share the story with the husband and he loves it this way.

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  23. 😀 Does the non-reader let the reader fill up the space with “unread” books? One more advantage is a non reader wouldn’t have to be up an entire night while reading those books that can’t be put down. (I am not an ardent reader anymore but love books)

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  25. My husband does read, but he is a LOT slower than me. He got me to start some series that he read as a child. It was only after I finished reading all of them that he admitted he didn’t know what happened after like book 5!

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  26. I love to read, fiction, non-fiction. Doesn’t matter. I have a Kindle and a Kindle app on my phone and usually have two books going at once. My husband, on the other hand, is a non-reader except for cookbooks. He is a chef and if you give him a cookbook, he will read it from cover to cover. It’s amazing to watch. I just look at the pretty pictures. He reads every ingredient, every step.

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