I don’t want to go to the party but I don’t have a choice.
If I say no again, people will think of me as someone who is not friendly.
I should get a glass of wine. What will people think of me?
Doing what others do is common. Look around and you will see, one person being the other. While there are friendships, most often people stick around to feel accepted. Sometimes it’s called peer pressure and sometimes following the herd.
Some of it is normal like attending a house-warming party or a wedding ceremony. Some is just plain pressure. Have you seen youngsters who drink and smoke because their friends do? People who buy things they can’t even afford because others around them have these things already? The fad of eating organic food or cutting carbohydrates without even knowing if the body will accept the change. So on and so forth.
Usual as this suggestion may sound – be who you are. Strike a balance between social obligation and doing things that make you happy. Experiment, enjoy but never fall to pressure. Never think of yourself as unaccepted because you did not do what others wanted you to do. Make a choice and take pride in it. Do not carry the baggage of the choice you made. Since if you do, you better follow the herd.
It is very easy to be who you are and it is the right thing to do. It’s takes time but once you master it, it helps you in a lot of ways. Go ahead and start being you.
Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.
― Oscar Wilde
I am participating in the A To Z Challenge for the third time this year and I am penning Stories from everyday life.
happiness and food 
You’re so right. Life is too short to try being something you’re not. Anyone who tries to be different and not follow the crowd is branded a weirdo. But you know I think the ones doing the branding are just gobshites who can’t think for themselves and are jealous of those who can. Nice post for day two. I’ve five more hours here before my B can be posted. What’s it like over there in tomorrowland? haha
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Right on point, Parul. 🙂 Yes, we look to please others at one point in time, forgetting that it’s important to be who we want to be as well. Hope that that moment of realization comes sooner rather than later!
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I’ve seen so many people succumb to this pressure of society, it’s ridiculous! I’ve been asked by friends why I don’t drink even on social occasions. I’ve told them politely that it’s a personal choice. I wish more people were comfortable in their own skin.
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I had a very long talk today with a former employee about ‘playing the game’ at work. It was not me, nor is it her. We all have to be true to ourselves.
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You’re so right! So many people succumb to peer pressure and keeping up with the Joneses, running behind things they are not even really interested in. It’s important, though, for all of us to get clear about our own priorities and not get swept up by the noise all around us.
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That is such a lovely thought….You are right…One must not buckle under peer pressure….Btw the link you left on my blog is taking me to someone else’s blog ….I think Copy Paste Issue….Please make a note 🙂 Happy writing
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It’s so easy to fall into peer pressure… Specially younger ones who have this zeal to be cool all the time. Yes, being ourselves is what we need to learn and do. Great topic for B
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Being You – as simple as this lesson sounds it is the single most forgotten lesson. Drawing the balance between being social and being me, is the hardest thing for me. I have finally learned that if my heart is not in it, I am going to bring down everyone else too. So I have taught myself to be happy doing what I want to do rather than otherwise.
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Absolutely! Although being yourself is not a static concept – we’re always changing and as, you said, wanting to experiment. Good advice to see if the new behaviour (organic food for instance) fits in with your other lifestyle choices.
Blame #Lexicon of Leaving
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My biggest problem in life is saying No. Otherwise, I like to think..only one life, why not try and be the best of me? Easier said than done, what with external pressure. Love the post Parul!
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We’ve all gone through that phase of peer pressure I think. But I learnt early on that trying hard to fit in caused me a lot of stress and unhappiness.
In the end, the lesson is so simple – Just be you 🙂 🙂
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Absolutely ! Sometimes it is so difficult to say..We just need to strike the correct balance
Launching SIM Organics
Menaka Bharathi
SimpleIndianMom
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The urge to ‘fit in’, to be accepted is do difficult to let go. I’m no exception, I learnt to say ‘NO’ & to be comfortable in my skin only recently and there is no looking back because the joy of being you is totally worth the effort needed to embrace it.
Wonderful, thought provoking post, Parul!
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I see so many people indulging in things because their circle is doing so, to fit in…while it takes just a bit of courage to be yourself that can do wonders to your soul!
Cheers
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Wonderful post. All I want to be is me, and all I ought to be too. Simple, yet spiritual.
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Can I agree more. It takes time to cultivate the habit of being you and sometimes the cost you pay is quite heavy. I have paid it yet am happy to be in my own comfortable space. You advice is spot on love.
Truly Yours Roma
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This is a lovely B for the challenge! My theme isn’t mental health, so you might be interested in my challenge x
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If only people would outgrow the need to control how other people act, dress, and think; that need to pressure does not necessarily get left outside the door to adulthood. Much strength is required to stop bowing to the whims of others and “be yourself.” Your words of wisdom are encouragement for all.
2nd blogsite: http://gail-baugniet.blogspot.com (Food For Thought #AtoZ)
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It is so important to be comfortable in your own skin. I have seen that even if you want to be away from the herd, people wouldnt let you live in peace and would want you to give in to the pressure and all that jazz!
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I admit I have given in so many times to peer pressure and done things which I didn’t want to. But I am happy I knew when it was right and when I had to stand firm to my decision.
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Totally! Herd mentality is for the cows! If we are unable to completely condition our mind to think for ourselves, that balance becomes very crucial, like you say.
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There is a tipping point between being you and being polite. There is a tipping point between being you and being accommodative. There is a a fine balance between being you and being anti social. It’s not always prudent or possible to be you
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Interestingly, I’m someone who never gave in to peer pressure. I was a tomboy through school even when my friends went through the girly-fashionable stages. I refused to smoke in college even though a friend at the time started to do so. I made my own decisions re drinking. Sometimes though, being yourself results in being a bit lonely too — because it means saying things sometimes that people might not like. I’m still trying to find that balance.
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I am reading lot of inspirational posts today and this one gives a very important lesson too.. I keep on telling the same thing to my girls. BE YOU.
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I have found when one is young it can be harder to know oneself, but it gets easier as we grow. Or as I usually put it, the older I get the bolshier (and I don’t mean communist ;)) I get 😀
Tasha
Tasha’s Thinkings – Shapeshifters and Werewolves
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As a teetotaler I have faced questions and situations that are funny only on hindsight :)) So I know what you mean. Trying to find the path of being myself, unapologetically and enjoying the journey. Another gem of a post, Parul
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Totally agree whole and soul. I have always been myself and people have always had problems with that. But me being me, don’t give a tiny rat’s ass about it 😛
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As a teen, that it tough to crack, isn’t it? At least for me, it was. Now, I’m learning and I feel so good. 🙂
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Thats such a simple and profound message. Be you. Just saves you so much pressure of confirming to someone else’s standards.
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I definitely tried too hard to fit in. Nearly destroyed my life. Letting go and allowing myself to be me in the end changed the course of my life entirely.
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Yes being yourself is the best gift to ourselves. Peer pressure makes us do so many things that we don’t want to do. Doing something to be cool is just so uncool!
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Well, Parul , loved the message, you conveyed at the end that we should not try to be the one to impress other. We should to be happy as we are.
Very nice theme. Best wishes for the challenge.
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I love the clarity of your message. There’s such truth and authenticity to it.
https://parentinginthewilderness.wordpress.com/2017/04/03/b-is-for-beasts-blues-and-border-control/
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Easier said than done. But we have to accept the fact if one does not separate from the crowd and follow ine’s heart, all life they will live like anybody except them. Misery side of it. . Well written as always Parul
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Awesomely powerful advise Parul – simple to follow too but often we neglect it out of fear or rejection! Your writing style just flows over the words 🙂
Theme: Peregrination Chronicles (travel)
B is for BodyArt #atozchallenge
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Inspiring post, Parul. Love the Oscar Wilde quote. Good luck with A to Z Challenge!
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Peer pressure hits at any age – even us senior citizens have to battle against, peer pressure. Fortunately, I have always marched to a different drum. I am a better me, if I do my own thing, and not care what others think.
Good post.
Baby Boomers – sheltered from life’s fallout??
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absolutely totally believe in this… one of my favorite quotes from Dr.Seuss (and part of my Pinterest handle as well!) is “Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”
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LOVE that quote. Being someone else simply adds pressure to your own life and you end up living multiple lives to conform 🙂
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